a little bit of the present..

late 2008..

Aliyah was doing her usual Sat routine at night,..she was online chatting with her friends..
She was dreading the fact that she had work tomorrow
She wasn't motivated at all
She wasn't working in something she dreamed of..

She was in desperate need of a change.she was fed up.
She wasn't living the life she assumed she would
Bahrain was dull compared to the vibrant ,upbeat Beirut..

She was chatting away ..listening to music..in her room..
when all of a sudden..her childhood friend sends her a msg on msn..

"Hey Aliyah..i want to tell u something before u hear it from a stranger..
Aliyah got a bit worried..what the hell was he going to tell her now..she was a little bit nervous..

hER heart dropped..when she read the following msg

" Btw..Fahad got engaged about two weeks ago..to this girl..it was arranged.."

Aliyah felt as if someone had slapped her
She knew this day was going to come eventually
but she secretly hoped that A. he would come back to her and tell her that he cant live without her
2. she would get engaged before he does..and be happy once and for all..

sHe tried to act calm and cool..and sent the following msg
" oh i heard about it..thanks for being sweet and thoughtful to my feelings ( Aliyah hated lying but she was afraid that he would tell Fahad..and she wanted him to know she was ok with it..even though she wasnt!!!


Aliyah logged off msn..and shut the doors to her room
she wasnt in the mood for anyone..

She was deep in her thoughts..
Time had flew by and she was still stuck..

She had never felt the way about anyone the way she did about Fahad..
She was scared..
she felt pressured from her family and friends to move on...

People close to her were getting married left and right..and she was in a standstill in her life..
What had happened to her..
why is she unable to meet someone new and get on with her life..

She felt guilty...
She knew it was her fault..the whole breakup with Fahad..
she wished she could turn back time..and fix things..
She didnt appreciate him until it was too late..
Just thinking about it makes her want to cry
even thought she did the unthinkable..he had to forgive her..
she was young and stupid..she didnt know better..
if he loved her..
would he have forgiven her for what she did...
but he didnt..
does that mean that Fahad didnt love her..
or what she did was so big that he couldnt come bacl..

Fahad changed after Aliyah..
He wasnt the same again
He hated girls and didnt trust them..
He had shut off that feeling..
He both loved and hated Aliyah for what she did to him years and years ago..




Fahad was deep in thought..
Was Aliyah thinking about him now since he had gotten engaged..
does she still think about him from time to time..
It had been such a long time..
It had been a year since they last saw each other by accident..
Was he too harsh in the way he treated her..
Or he was better off without her..
Fahad tried so hard to sleep that night with no luck..
He was doubting his descions..his past..his present and his future made no sense to him now..




UFF..
Aliyah was frustrated..
she had to do some drastic change in her life..
Fahad was gone
and she had to accept that reality

He will never come back..
He will never call her..
it was so sad..and pathetic in a way that Aliyah still had feelings for Fahad..
She hated herself for feeling this way..




All hope had died that day...