over You??

everytime i want to remember you..
i close my eyes..
i havent seen you in so long..

i close my eyes..
remembering images..memories..pictures..
the first thing that i remember
is that picture of you..
wearing that dark blue hat..outside of starbux...
u were wearing a beige sweater..
and had a thicker beard then usual..
i remember your gaze in the picture
i feel like that picture spoke to me..
calling out for me..
i longed to be there with you
i long to be with you..

i daydream all the time..
most of my day im thinking of you..
my mind keeps drifting to you..

i get mad at myself..
im forgetting
i dont wat to forget..
i dont remember anymore..
it was so long ago..
it hurts so much that i dont remember..

i forgot so many things..
but what i will alwys have is the way that u made me feel..

i feel small and inadequate now..
no one has ever made me feel that special..

i close my eyes again..
thinking of you..
remembering you in your white thoub..white '3tra..
looking so handsome.
you hugged me so tight
that u cried..
i couldnt belive it u cried..

i long for that hug
i long for that day


its not healthy to think about u like this..
i cant help myself..
i try
i try


till today songs on the radio remind me of you.
i cant even listen to them..
it hurts so bad..

i wish that one day you pick up the fone and call me..
and tell me
that you miss me
and that you will alwys love me..

its pathetic that i still have hope..
i wait for news that you guys ended ur marriage.
i know thats mean..
but i think that we are meant to be..
and that we are destined to be together..

so naive..
i think deep down im still that naive girl..
yearing for love and attenetion..

in my sleep i usualy wake up with tears..
another day without you..
do you know that ever day i look at my fone
hoping for a msg a call anything from you

every day i wake up a little bit disappointed
every night i dream of you and hope that you come back..

i am lost without you
i am not complete..

if i hear someone talk like that id think there so corny
im not usually the romantic mushy type..
this is from my heart..

i dream of you
i wait for you
i long for you
i am still madly deeply in love with you..

to my saddness and despair..this is still the case..


dear god..please get me out of this..
i want to be ok
i want to move on..

i will go to bed..
still with hope in my heart..

kuwait part 4

sara and i sit inside at sliders..

infront of us are ahmed and mohammed..



really..fate...they had to be friends..GOD...

im nervous..im jinxed..im sure ahmed will ignore me like all guys do..



sara was trying to calm me down when i get a msg. sara told me that mohd was a long time ago and most likely ahmed wont care..
it was years ago!

ahmed" nawarti slider babe"

i let out a sigh..whats wrong with me.ahmed is a friend and a strong potential keeper but lets see how it goes..i shouldn't be scared..i did nothing wrong



i reply back: thnx;)

i see ahmed stare..he doesnt take his eyes off me..

i blush and look away

ahmed sends another msg " i cant take my eyes off you..your stunning"

i blush even harder..

its been so long since i heard sweet talk..
ive missed that feeling
ive missed feeling wanted and loved..

it felt good..real good.

sara and i chat and eat..
everytime i look up...i see ahmed staring..
even Mohd was staring at me..

its been years..
I havent seen him since Beuirt..
our college days..

he didnt change much.
he looked older..
his beard was thicker..
he gained a bit of weight which looked good...

his eyes so intense as before..
Hazel..
Beautiful hazel eyes with long dark lashes..
His eyes were mezmerizing..

i was drifting in my thoughts...
what had happened between us..
i loved him so much..
i was so hurt..
still hurt from what he did..

there was no fight ..no issue between us..
we were a perfect couple..
after our breakup..
id see him
all the time..
we were in the same uni..
it was so hard at first..
we stopped saying hi..
we ignored each other..
i could see his eyes.
alwys on me..
those hazel eyes..
following me wherever i go..

i could tell..
he loved me..
but there was something stopping him..
i tried to talk to him thru my eyes..
i looked at him.
hoping for a change of heart..
nothing...
i moved on..
i became different..
no longer was i that naive girl..
falling in love with Mohd was so easy...
i really did think he was my perfect match..
as if we were meant to be..
thats what i used to think..


the only reason was that i wasnt Kuwaiti..and his friends advised him not to date a FOREIGNER..(hello since when are bahraini considered foreigners)..

i was lost in thought..a msg woke me up frm my daydreaming..
i looked down at my blackberry expecting it to be Ahmed..

my smile vanished..

" you are, and always have been, my dream"

Mohd..the romantic...i dont this i have ever gotten a cuter msg in my life..
i got butterflies..
i read it again and again..i felt like i was back in time..
when we were together,.
that rush..those emotions..


i havent seen his number in years..
i was shocked...
and confused..

what does Mohd want with me now...

why is it when a possible maybe is about to happen an ex comes along and complicates things..WHY!!!

a few seconds later i get another msg..thinking its Mohd again..i see its from Ahmed " need to talk.call when ur free"

hmmm...
i get nervous...isnt that a phrase for a usual breakup..we need to talk..oh no;/ i really like Ahmed..

wats going on..
did Mohd say anything to him;/;/


to be continued.......

kuwait part 3;)

i reached sara's house..
tired from the flight.

its alwys the short flights that get to me..
i dont mind the longer ones..shorter ones gives me a constant headache!

sara: i want details about the GUY now..everything spill..
so i re-cap the whole story starting from bahrain airport..sara kept shouting at the exciting part..
lool..i know she was happy for me;p
i was deciding whether or not i should msg him...
i decided to take a nap and msg him later...sara agreed on this plan as well..

i took a nap..while sara was opening my suitcase looking for possible outfits for our dinner today..in kuwait everyone dresses up..
as if they stepped out of vouge..
so not like bahrain...in bahrain ppl r really simple..when compared to kuwaiti's fashion..which I LOVEEE..

After one hour n a half..i wake up..
feeling refreshed,,,
a nap was just wat i needed...
i wake up and reach for my bahraini no.
hes on my mind..i send a msg..saying: hi..
after hitting the sent button i realize that i didnt even put my name..how stupid!
immedietly my fone rings..its HIM....Ahmed the keeper;)

Me: aloo
Ahmed: 7mdila 3ala salamtich;p did u just reach home?
i laugh: no i took a nap thats why..
Ahmed: noum el3wafii sweetie...
me: how did u know it was me..
Ahmed: honestly i was waiting for u..im glad u msged..i actually thought u changed ur mind or something..
(supper cute..i didnt know guys worry like us;p i keep thinking they dont care..)
me: la eshd3waaaa Ahmed.
Ahmed: so tell me shno ur plans for the night
me: athen bnroo7 slider station bs...i love their food..
Ahmed: ok slider it is..
me: what does that mean hehehe
Ahmed: i wana see u..so i guess im going to be there as well..
me( blushing): mm..ok..i guess..
Ahmed: see you soon and talk to u later sweetie pie..
( SWEETIE PIE..ohlalalalalallalalaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaa..i love him already;p )

i tell sara about this and she gets more excited..she thinks i should dress up..
so i wear a cute short white eyelet dress..
and put on red lipgloss..
and tie my hair in a ponytail..and wear my fav tod slippers..

sara gives me the heads up for my outfuit and we go to slider..at around 8ish..

as soon as we walk in..
i see Him..
not my keeper..

but it was a blast from the past..

what the hell..

Mohd was sitting with Ahmed the keeper...

Ahmed smiles and waves..

i wave back

and Mohd looks at us both suprised.

and goes in deep discussion with Ahmed..

to be continued.....


(fyi:mohd, my Kuwaiti ex from uni)