Wednesday, October 13, 2010

new story.,

hey y'all..
this is a new story since i wasnt able to continue it..hurts too much..

anywys,,,here goes with my new story

Maha was missing her life back in London..
the girls were all there..
she finished uni and came back since her dad was so firm about her not staying any longer,,

she hated boring and dead..complete opposite of London..full of ppl n life
and exciting things would happen every day..

she had to admit it..
she was in bahrain depression..

she had a few friends still in bahrain
all her close friends were still abroad studying..

she logged on msn ..since it was forever since she checked her email..
she was more of a facebook/gmail kind of girl..

she was online and then..

""fAisal" has just signed in..

faisal was the first guy she ever talked to in her life..
he was such a jerk to her..

just left to his university and said he doesnt do long distance..

Faisal was older and was very attractive

she wasnt bothered since they havent talked in a very long time..

however to her suprise,she got a msg from him
"hey you..long time"

mAHA:hey stranger..i know..are u back to bahrain? (trying to hide her excitment)
Faisal: yeah finished with my masters and got back a few months ago..what about urself?

Maha couldnt help but get excited..she alwys liked Faisal but for some reason he was not intrested..

Maha: yeah got back a month ago..very depressed,,missing London

Faisal: u'll get used to bahrain trust me..

Maha and Faisal talked for 4 hours straight on msn..joking and reminiscing about old times..."sigh"

At night..maha couldnt help but wonder..was faisal thinking about her as she was thinking about him..
its been years..
he seems different,,more mature..more grounded..
maybe this time it will be different..

Maha closed her eyes..and wished for that..

Faisal has alwys had a special place in her heart..
i guess its true what they say
you can never forget your first love..

gnite ppl..

will continue tomorow inshallah..


Sunday, December 6, 2009

over You??

everytime i want to remember you..
i close my eyes..
i havent seen you in so long..

i close my eyes..
the first thing that i remember
is that picture of you..
wearing that dark blue hat..outside of starbux...
u were wearing a beige sweater..
and had a thicker beard then usual..
i remember your gaze in the picture
i feel like that picture spoke to me..
calling out for me..
i longed to be there with you
i long to be with you..

i daydream all the time..
most of my day im thinking of you..
my mind keeps drifting to you..

i get mad at myself..
im forgetting
i dont wat to forget..
i dont remember anymore..
it was so long ago..
it hurts so much that i dont remember..

i forgot so many things..
but what i will alwys have is the way that u made me feel..

i feel small and inadequate now..
no one has ever made me feel that special..

i close my eyes again..
thinking of you..
remembering you in your white thoub..white '3tra..
looking so handsome.
you hugged me so tight
that u cried..
i couldnt belive it u cried..

i long for that hug
i long for that day

its not healthy to think about u like this..
i cant help myself..
i try
i try

till today songs on the radio remind me of you.
i cant even listen to them..
it hurts so bad..

i wish that one day you pick up the fone and call me..
and tell me
that you miss me
and that you will alwys love me..

its pathetic that i still have hope..
i wait for news that you guys ended ur marriage.
i know thats mean..
but i think that we are meant to be..
and that we are destined to be together..

so naive..
i think deep down im still that naive girl..
yearing for love and attenetion..

in my sleep i usualy wake up with tears..
another day without you..
do you know that ever day i look at my fone
hoping for a msg a call anything from you

every day i wake up a little bit disappointed
every night i dream of you and hope that you come back..

i am lost without you
i am not complete..

if i hear someone talk like that id think there so corny
im not usually the romantic mushy type..
this is from my heart..

i dream of you
i wait for you
i long for you
i am still madly deeply in love with you..

to my saddness and despair..this is still the case..

dear god..please get me out of this..
i want to be ok
i want to move on..

i will go to bed..
still with hope in my heart..

Saturday, December 5, 2009

kuwait part 4

sara and i sit inside at sliders..

infront of us are ahmed and mohammed..

really..fate...they had to be friends..GOD...

im sure ahmed will ignore me like all guys do..

sara was trying to calm me down when i get a msg. sara told me that mohd was a long time ago and most likely ahmed wont care..
it was years ago!

ahmed" nawarti slider babe"

i let out a sigh..whats wrong with me.ahmed is a friend and a strong potential keeper but lets see how it goes..i shouldn't be scared..i did nothing wrong

i reply back: thnx;)

i see ahmed stare..he doesnt take his eyes off me..

i blush and look away

ahmed sends another msg " i cant take my eyes off you..your stunning"

i blush even harder..

its been so long since i heard sweet talk..
ive missed that feeling
ive missed feeling wanted and loved..

it felt good..real good.

sara and i chat and eat..
everytime i look up...i see ahmed staring..
even Mohd was staring at me..

its been years..
I havent seen him since Beuirt..
our college days..

he didnt change much.
he looked older..
his beard was thicker..
he gained a bit of weight which looked good...

his eyes so intense as before..
Beautiful hazel eyes with long dark lashes..
His eyes were mezmerizing..

i was drifting in my thoughts...
what had happened between us..
i loved him so much..
i was so hurt..
still hurt from what he did..

there was no fight issue between us..
we were a perfect couple..
after our breakup..
id see him
all the time..
we were in the same uni..
it was so hard at first..
we stopped saying hi..
we ignored each other..
i could see his eyes.
alwys on me..
those hazel eyes..
following me wherever i go..

i could tell..
he loved me..
but there was something stopping him..
i tried to talk to him thru my eyes..
i looked at him.
hoping for a change of heart..
i moved on..
i became different..
no longer was i that naive girl..
falling in love with Mohd was so easy...
i really did think he was my perfect match..
as if we were meant to be..
thats what i used to think..

the only reason was that i wasnt Kuwaiti..and his friends advised him not to date a FOREIGNER..(hello since when are bahraini considered foreigners)..

i was lost in thought..a msg woke me up frm my daydreaming..
i looked down at my blackberry expecting it to be Ahmed..

my smile vanished..

" you are, and always have been, my dream"

Mohd..the romantic...i dont this i have ever gotten a cuter msg in my life..
i got butterflies..
i read it again and again..i felt like i was back in time..
when we were together,.
that rush..those emotions..

i havent seen his number in years..
i was shocked...
and confused..

what does Mohd want with me now...

why is it when a possible maybe is about to happen an ex comes along and complicates things..WHY!!!

a few seconds later i get another msg..thinking its Mohd again..i see its from Ahmed " need to when ur free"

i get nervous...isnt that a phrase for a usual breakup..we need to talk..oh no;/ i really like Ahmed..

wats going on..
did Mohd say anything to him;/;/

to be continued.......

Tuesday, December 1, 2009

kuwait part 3;)

i reached sara's house..
tired from the flight.

its alwys the short flights that get to me..
i dont mind the longer ones..shorter ones gives me a constant headache!

sara: i want details about the GUY now..everything spill..
so i re-cap the whole story starting from bahrain airport..sara kept shouting at the exciting part..
lool..i know she was happy for me;p
i was deciding whether or not i should msg him...
i decided to take a nap and msg him later...sara agreed on this plan as well..

i took a nap..while sara was opening my suitcase looking for possible outfits for our dinner kuwait everyone dresses up..
as if they stepped out of vouge..
so not like bahrain ppl r really simple..when compared to kuwaiti's fashion..which I LOVEEE..

After one hour n a half..i wake up..
feeling refreshed,,,
a nap was just wat i needed...
i wake up and reach for my bahraini no.
hes on my mind..i send a msg..saying: hi..
after hitting the sent button i realize that i didnt even put my stupid!
immedietly my fone rings..its HIM....Ahmed the keeper;)

Me: aloo
Ahmed: 7mdila 3ala salamtich;p did u just reach home?
i laugh: no i took a nap thats why..
Ahmed: noum el3wafii sweetie...
me: how did u know it was me..
Ahmed: honestly i was waiting for glad u msged..i actually thought u changed ur mind or something..
(supper cute..i didnt know guys worry like us;p i keep thinking they dont care..)
me: la eshd3waaaa Ahmed.
Ahmed: so tell me shno ur plans for the night
me: athen bnroo7 slider station bs...i love their food..
Ahmed: ok slider it is..
me: what does that mean hehehe
Ahmed: i wana see i guess im going to be there as well..
me( blushing): mm..ok..i guess..
Ahmed: see you soon and talk to u later sweetie pie..
( SWEETIE PIE..ohlalalalalallalalaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaa..i love him already;p )

i tell sara about this and she gets more excited..she thinks i should dress up..
so i wear a cute short white eyelet dress..
and put on red lipgloss..
and tie my hair in a ponytail..and wear my fav tod slippers..

sara gives me the heads up for my outfuit and we go to around 8ish..

as soon as we walk in..
i see Him..
not my keeper..

but it was a blast from the past..

what the hell..

Mohd was sitting with Ahmed the keeper...

Ahmed smiles and waves..

i wave back

and Mohd looks at us both suprised.

and goes in deep discussion with Ahmed..

to be continued.....

(fyi:mohd, my Kuwaiti ex from uni)

Sunday, November 15, 2009

k-u-w-a-i-t part 2

his name was ahmed ha..
love that name...
i smiled..
i just said: nice to meet yara..

he looked suprised..
and he said: i love that name..(LOL)

i didnt know what to say..for some got my tounge at that moment..but ahmed continued.." so where are you heading to ya yara..

me: kuwait on jazeera
he laughed: hahahha no way.. me too..
i was happy..i never get this lucky
a cute guy talking to me randomly in the aiport
we are heading to the same destination
he was normal..from what i can tell so far
and we were on the same flight..what more can i ask for..

then we heard a loud voice: FINAL CALL JAZEERA AIRWAYS..FINAL CALL..
we both looked at each other and laughed since we were lost in conversation..

and he said: would you mind if i sit next to u in the flight?
me( JUMPING UP AND DOWN TO MYSELF): trying to act cool...yeah like that..

we were walking to the terminal.
and we were going inside the plane..
we were both seated in diff places.. cute abercrombie guy told the stewrdess: Darling she's with me..can you manage us two seats?
the stewrdess melted..i mean he's cute..dimples when he smiled..
ofcourse she said: ofcourse sir i will look for a place..

we were seated next to one another in less then 5 min
our plane wasnt so full..which was a good thing..

we talked all the way to kuwait..
what i leared abt ahmed:
1. he graduated from the states..
2. hes 28...PERFEct age
3. he visits bahrain for work
4.he has one older sis and one older brother..making him the baby of the family

he was so sweet..
is he just a player trying to get some action since im going there for the weekend..thinking to myself..

As if ahmed read my mind..

listen Yara i dont usually do this..i hope u understand..seriously i dont know why i did..i was drawn to you...
i didnt want to regret not doing anything..
im forward and i know what i want..

me(thinking straight for once when it comes to guys): u seem nice..and i do want to get to know you more..

ahmed smiled : friends.

that eased up everything for me..knowing that this is just a friendship and not a meanigless fling for him..
he was geunine..he really wanted to get to know me..

we exchanged numbers..
and we said we might do coffee in kuwait....

He waited with me till my friend picked me up...
I saw a girl walking from afar.
i looked at him..
thats my friend...i better go..

AHmed: it was really nice meeting flight ever;)

me: thanks for waiting..

ahmed: anytime..

msg me when your home safe..

hmm..doesnt that sound to much of a boyfriend...

i walk towards my friend
she gives me a hug for like 5 min
and then asks..who's the hottie ur talkng to!!! details..asap...
( fyi: my friend's name is sarah)

i tell my friend his name..
her jaw drops..
and she says..wooow..btw..hes an eligiable y36eh elbnat wayh...kila work work..
shnoo swaitelaaayyy tell me...

since kuwait is a small world like bahrain and every1 knows each other..\i was happy with the feedback i got..
i felt it..

ahmed seemed like a keeper...(crossing my fingers and wishing that was true)

until next time.


Sunday, November 8, 2009


i was heading to Bahrain International Airport.

my sister dropped me..

i was dressed down in my Juicys..i picked an electric uplift my mood..

i had my aviators on..and my hair was in full motion- very goldylocks..except it was light brown;p

i tried to cheer myself up..

going in the duty free i noticed a cutie checking me out..

he was really tall..

and wearing sweatpants..abercrombie..


he was dressed in a fit grey shirt and navy sweatpants..

as if he stepped out of a magazine..


he was cute

he caught me checking him out as well.

and smiled..

usually i would look away and act all serious and aloof..

however since this was a weekend of fun.

i decided to LIVE A little..

i smiled..


and he smiled even wider..

i walked away...looking at what to get..

the usual makeup stuff..

then suddenly i heard a manly cough

i looked around..

and found my abercrombie guy waiting for me...

all he said was : Hi

i smiled..

i didnt even feel shy for some reason..

i was like : Hi

he was a little bit embaressed and he said: im really sorry i dont usually say hi to random girls in airports..( i laughed)

he eased up..

and continued: so,, name is ahmed

to be continued..

post- wedding blues

so ive been feeling sorry for myself..
looking at old pics..
talking to our mutal friends about it..

i was sad..
the day of the wedding..
i was msging my friend who was there..

hmm...he didnt invite me
my friends thought it was rude but seriosuly i cant go to his wedding and watch him with someone else..
i was in a state of being heartbroken..
i wasnt in the mood to go out or see anyone..
i wanted to be by myself.

i realized a lot of things about myself..
1. i shouldnt give myself a hard time for what i did when i was younger
2. i should let go and embrace life
3. i shouldnt live in the past (i.e listen to sad music and look at old pics and memories of us)
4. i should suuround myself with positive and energetic ppl and not friends who put me down,.

with this frame of mind, i decided to let go of this depression..
i will find a guy who will love me even more than fahad
and will not let me go..

so i decided what any girl does to cheer herself up.
i packed my bags and visited my best friend from college in kuwait,,,